Jemima won two bronze medals in race walking at the Paris 2024 Olympics and had this to say post race.

This video is standing the test of time and I encourage sports parents to watch this video with all the budding young athletes in your life.

We often talk in sessions about finding stories and narratives that can help open up conversations particularly with teenagers and this could be one of those brilliant conversation starters for sporting parents.

Conversation Starters for Sports Parents

(Inspired by Jemima Montag’s Olympic reflections)

Community & Belonging

• “What does being part of a team mean to you?”
• “Who in your sport makes you feel like you belong?”
• “How do you think Jemima’s community helped her through tough moments?”

Dedication & Discipline

• “What do you think dedication looks like for you — at training, school, or home?”
• “When have you felt proud of sticking with something, even when it was hard?”
• “Jemima talked about commitment — how do you balance hard work with rest and fun?”

Leadership

• “What kind of teammate do you want to be?”
• “How do you show leadership, even if you’re not the captain?”
• “What leaders or teammates inspire you, and why?”

Friendship & Support

• “How do your friends in sport support you when things don’t go your way?”
• “What do you value most about your friendships in sport?”
• “Jemima mentioned friendship — how can friends make training or competition more enjoyable?”

The Bigger Picture

• “Jemima said sport teaches life lessons — what life lessons do you think you’re learning?”
• “If sport wasn’t about medals or wins, what would still make it worth doing?”
• “What do you think Jemima will remember most from her Olympic experience — the medals or the journey?”

Sports Parent Tips

Use these questions as open invitations to talk, not tests.

You do not need to ask them all in one sitting either, pick the ones that may be most relevant to you in your current situation.

Listen more than you speak and let your child’s reflections guide the conversation.

The goal isn’t to analyse performance — it’s to explore values, purpose, and joy in sport and getting them communicating.

I am pretty sure we are, but the reality is that we can be at different ends of the spectrum which can also be affected by that given moment, experience, or circumstance.

Keeping a sense of perspective can be hugely challenging particularly when our children look like sporting mini-adults wearing the same outfits, get selected for squads and performance programmes and there is no doubting that our patience can exceed our expectations particularly if we are told our children are talented and doing well.

The most difficult thing is being able to remain as objective as possible, not always an easy task, particularly with the sacrifices, cost, and emotional investment that many families make to support their young people on their sporting journey.

Delusional Parents are those who have false or unrealistic beliefs or opinions about their children even when confronted with facts. Most parents are pretty balanced and only suffer from a mild form of delusion, which I probably suffer from as well. However, there will always be some extreme cases.

It does seem that there is something in our genetic makeup that makes us parents feel that our children are always better than they are.  We can’t help it and I feel that way about my own children.

The problem is that an extreme level of delusion may hinder our ability to parent a young athlete effectively.

When we have unrealistic expectations of our children’s abilities, we begin to put unnecessary pressure on them to perform to a potentially unrealistic standard. If we continue on this path, we can then fall into the trap of nothing ever been quite good enough and focussing always on mistakes, whilst neglecting to discuss any strengths and improvements our children may be making. Everything needs a balance to it.

If our expectations have become unrealistic and we are always expecting more, almost every interaction, selection, decision that is made on any given day becomes all about our child and as a result our behaviours change alongside it.  We can become critical of coaches and programmes, become more desperate as we support from the side and then to make ourselves feel better, we then feel the need to unload all our feedback and feelings in the aftermath on the car journey home. Many of the children we have spoken to recently in performance sport have told us they need love, sleep, and food immediately after competition, only a few enjoyed talking about what had just happened at that point. That does not mean to say that these conversations did not happen at a later point in time.

All these behaviours potentially then can weaken the relationships around our young people which includes the parent-coach relationship, coach-child relationship, and parent-child relationship.

For example, when our children feel that they are not living up to our expectations and learning to take personal responsibility for their own enjoyment and improvement in their sport, they may learn to blame coaches, teammates and end up looking for someone else to help them get to the “next level” rather than finding the passion and desire within themselves to improve and reach their goals.  Children, particularly teenagers, can also be very good at telling us versions of events that they know we would want to hear or to avoid having any longer more difficult conversations with us.

This piece is not about one group always being right either and there may be times that we have to intervene as sports parents. We may have seen totally inappropriate behaviour, do not understand why something has happened to our children and we are concerned about the lack of progress that they are making.  It is our right to do this, and we mustn’t suffer in silence if we genuinely feel there is cause for concern.

So how do we avoid allowing our ingrained delusion to creep into our children’s sporting development and our parenting?

It all starts with understanding why we are putting our children into their sport in the first place. We do not have a ‘Crystal Ball.’

The younger the children are, the less accurate our predictions may be about what is coming next. If we had a magic formula for how we create world record holders and professional athletes and could bottle it up, we would be extremely wealthy.

We should be putting our children into their sport to enjoy the experience. Develop many of the character skills that will allow them to thrive in their sport, including if they make it to elite levels but also to ensure that they then can thrive in whatever walk of life they end up in. Sport remains one of the safest vehicles still to equip our children with these.

In our sessions we focus on the development of commitment, determination, consistency, resilience, patience, humility, adaptability, decision-making, self-organisation, and good communication to name but a few.

If our children’s sporting environment is providing enjoyment and valuing the development of the whole person, these traits and the benefits and experiences of the journey itself alongside the technical part we should be over the moon.

In this episode Australian Institute of Sport Athlete Development Senior Lead Graham Turner joins Gordon MacLelland to discuss his latest book ‘The Young Athlete’s Perspective.’

This book features six stories told by young athletes about their talent development experiences in sport. Each young athlete tells a personal story. They describe their own individual set of circumstances and provide a personal perspective that has been shaped by living in contemporary times.

These unique stories are shared in the hope that they may support coaches and parents to better connect with the young athlete’s perspective. When considered together, these individual insights confirm the essence of the talent development experience and they reveal what every parent and coach supporting and developing the young athlete needs to know.

During the conversation they discuss amongst other things:

• Understanding the mentality of young people
• Working closely to understand your own child (they are all different)
• The importance of hard work and making the most from the whole sporting experience
• Helping our children to trust themselves and find environments that allow them to thrive
• The importance of positive relationships between the key people around young people
• Creating an environment for genuine, authentic conversations
• Impression management and how information is perceived by all involved
• The importance of parental role-modelling and walking the walk

Having done some work recently with the WSL academy staff around the ‘Retain and Release Process’ recently I got thinking about how sports present their programmes to parents and young people.

Deep down I am pretty sure that we know that the chances of young people becoming Olympians and professional footballers or sportspeople are incredibly slim, but many sports parents still do dream and have those expectations.

“There are about 10,000 athletes in the Summer Olympics. With the world population at about 7 billion, the chances of making it that far are about 1 in 562,400,” says Bill Mallon, past president and co-founder of the International Society of Olympic Historians.

In the US, surveys show that 67 percent of parents hope their kids earn college scholarships while 34 percent dream that they make the Olympic team or play professionally.

It’s one thing to fantasise — it’s another to be convinced. Fully 40 percent of parents with young athletes are “certain” or “fairly sure” their gold medal and pro contract ambitions will come true.

According to NCAA statistics, only a minuscule percentage of high school athletes go all the way to play professionally.

• 1 in 610 (.16%) will get drafted by a Major League Baseball team.
• 1 in 10,399 (.0096%) will get picked by an NBA team.
• 1 in 12,873 (.0077%) will be chosen by a WNBA team.
• 1 in 3,960 (.025%) will get picked by an NFL team.

I have always been very open in the WWPIS workshops when talking about my own children and how I know that I have more chance of being hit by a meteor than my son playing professional football.

This is despite signing a Category 1 football contract at the age of 9.

This is in no way about stunting dreams and children should be encouraged to reach for the stars, it is better for young people to have their dreams than none at all.

However, it is our responsibility as the adults to ensure that we always have these statistics in the back of our mind when making decisions or supporting our young children.

Whilst I used the meteor analogy, I enjoyed something said by Tony Fretwell (Barclays FAWSL Academy Manager) who described it slightly differently, but it certainly painted another very clear picture.

When we are sold a holiday and we get the brochures it is 99% about the glamour of the trip, the hotels, beaches, sea, swimming pools and attractions and then there is a very small disclaimer that tells us of some of the potential issues (the plane crashing etc.), the package is a fair reflection of the chances of this happening.

In sport and specifically in football, we have very similar odds of children turning professional, but we sometimes sell our programmes in reverse. We sell the dream and the glamour when actually would we be better selling the journey and the wider parts and benefits of our programme?

We must do and show more about how we are going to develop young people with perhaps the final 1% saying there is a chance of becoming a professional footballer at the end of the journey.

In a number of the clubs that we work with, many are being proactive about this factor. Speaking to parents early in the journey, talking about release and encouraging parents to almost expect to have to deal with it at some point in the future is really helpful. In effect, trying to help pave the way for the disappointment that may follow whilst assuring parents that they will work hard to develop both the person and the player to the best of their abilities.

Both sporting organisations and parents have a key role to play.

There is something extremely powerful about sporting success, how we see it as a population and how this is fuelled and portrayed by the media.

Do we place too much emphasis on it as parents?

I am sure this will differ from household to household and sport to sport, but if we realistically know the odds of success and are supported positively – does it give us a better chance of managing our own expectations and those of our children?

Many involved in sport often cite parents having unrealistic expectations as a major issue within the groups that they work with. I am afraid that it is a parent’s prerogative to be slightly biased towards their own children, that is human nature.

However, do we do enough as sporting organisations particularly early in the sporting journey to help align their expectations?

We want parents to have expectations of the right things, progress for their children both physically and holistically, character development, life skills and positive interactions with coaches and their peers.

When we buy a lottery ticket, we know the chances of winning the jackpot are slim so when the results come through and we get the email or go into the shops we are excited for that moment. The build-up and moment when we click on the email or hand it over at the counter in the hope that we have won millions.

More often than not we have won £10 or less and we are able to move on extremely quickly as our expectations of winning the big one was in perspective to the chances of being successful.

Yet in sport our reaction to similar odds can be very different.

Parents – there are many great reasons to play youth sport that don’t involve scholarships, Olympic medals, or professional contracts – focus in on those and I am confident that you will celebrate more wins on the way and not run the risk of being disappointed by the final outcome of the journey, whatever that may be.

I am also pretty confident that your children will get far more from their sporting experience if we can adopt this approach.

In this episode Cath Bishop(Olympian, Author, Diplomat and Leadership Coach) and Gordon MacLelland discuss Cath’s latest book ‘The Long Win.’

Cath shares a fascinating insight into her early childhood in sport, her Olympic journey, life as a diplomat and her current work as a leadership coach.

During the conversation they discuss amongst other things:

• Winning and what it means to society
• Valuing winning and competition but framing it in a positive and healthy way
• Taking a wider outlook on sport and competition and the amazing lessons that it can teach us all
• The significance of the 3C’s of clarifying, constant learning and connection
• Helping support sports parents to use sport as the vehicle to develop life and character skills
• The importance of not ‘labelling’ our children 
• The importance of collaboration

We hope that you enjoy this episode. To find out more about Cath Bishop and the work that she is currently involved in then please click here.

With parents being highlighted as one of the major influences in a child’s level of enjoyment and participation, it’s important firstly to understand and appreciate what your son or daughter may want from you as a youth sport parent?

If you ask them before the game, a child will tell you what they want and it may differ from game to game. We often think we know what our children want, and parents will always have their child’s best interests at heart, yet we continue to hear/see parents scream/yell aggressively on the sideline.  Just ask them the question, you might be surprised with the answer given.

Once the game is underway and players are within the bubble of fun with friends, parents need to try and respect the given environment. The children play the game, therefore it’s theirs to enjoy, parents should try to take a hands-off approach from such an environment and situation that doesn’t really belong to them.

Naturally, such an approach will cut any unnecessary stress and decrease the eagerness to influence the game by yelling avoidable statements that negatively influence the levels of enjoyment and participation.

Taking a “hands-off” approach doesn’t mean you remain silent or unnerved throughout the game, it solely provides a perspective that it’s a youth game where children are given opportunities to take chances to learn, make mistakes and grow as individuals and players.  Young children learning the game will inevitably make mistakes, we should look at the scenario at hand and have realistic expectations. They’re not the “perfect player” yet, like anything we venture upon in life, we will make mistakes, will then logically reflect and learn. If you allow players to fail we provide them with an opportunity to be brave, in overcoming the mistake, finding the solution and learning on their own accord.

If any problems on the field can be solved through guidance from the coach and/or knowledge from the players, why is there a need to assist in that process? Worrying or interfering will do no good in the long run.

Taking another perspective, when children have tests/examinations, they find solutions to problems from knowledge gained, not from parents yelling at them from the hallway. Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will, finding the best solution may not happen straightaway every player develops at their own pace.

The truth of the matter is there is no reason to interfere, because it’s their game, not yours. Whenever you feel the urge to shout negatively or steal a learning opportunity from your child, STOP, reflect and consider the environment and learning opportunities given for your child to develop. There is no actual stress from observing the game, it’s your own thoughts that creates such beliefs. You can’t package stress, touch it or see it.

To conclude and answer the initial question “Shall I shout anything?”, it depends firstly what your son or daughter wants and secondly if they are happy for you to shout during the game. Whatever, you ay say make sure you consider what is said, how it’s said, when and to who?

Attempt to be positive at all times, with a positive and enthusiastic tone of voice to the your child and the whole team. At times, simplicities are better, for example a smile or a thumbs up. Revert from showing negative behaviour or using a tone of voice that can be deemed angry or frustrated.

Remember to have perspective and if you’re ever unsure of what to say, it’s best to ask the coach what potentially can be said. Working as a team within the athletic triangle will help provide the best environment for your child to reach their potential.

This article was written by a good friend of WWPIS, Richard Cashman of the Sporting Influencer.  The full and original article can be found here.